The First Memory

When I was little, I’d confidently tell everyone that "I remember being born". I still recall the bright ceiling light and feeling. In 2020, I unburied the real trauma of assault behind my first memory.

The hardest part wasn’t what happened; it was that no one believed or protected me. At age 3, I clearly spoke up to more than one adult about what was being done to me. I even hoped my doctor would confirm what my body already knew. Instead, I was misdiagnosed, misunderstood, and continued to be exposed for years. 

The Things No One Knew

The first 18 years of my life looked normal from the outside, but my deregulated nervous system told a different story. The continuous mistreatment I endured, on top of two parental breakups and being raised by a single parent, led to constant anxiety, distress, nausea, nosebleeds, bed-wetting, rage, and shame. I was bullied, became a bully, and was labeled a “problem child” for misbehaving.

Every symptom was a signal no one knew how to read. I didn’t have words for it yet, but I knew what was happening wasn’t right.

The Choice To Stay

At age 8, I begged God to end my life.  No one knew how close I was to giving up. What kept me here were three things I already carried: courage, creativity, and curiosity. 

So instead of disappearing, I started creating and became entrepreneurial. In K-5, I’d sell toys, do kids’ homework on a subscription, and make Super Ari comics. In middle school, I got my first mindset book and never stopped reading. 

The Healing And Rising

In high school, the ocean healed me, and I wanted to help heal it too. I went to Indiana University to create a Marine Bio degree with the Individualized Major Program. I also interned for TEDx and came up with the conference theme From Ashes We Rise.

There was a campus org claiming to support survivors. I grew close with the members and shared my story, but I was met with silence. In truth, they didn’t grasp the weight of what I shared or know how to embody the mission fully. I chose to step away and study abroad in Australia.

The Body Finally Speaking

Senior year during COVID, I pushed relentlessly to afford Tony Robbins $10k Business Mastery. I was selling blood plasma, doing MRI test studies, and working a part-time job as a full-time student when everything I had buried finally surfaced. The memory I had carried since childhood returned with harsh visual clarity. For the first time, it made sense that I wasn’t remembering birth. I was remembering my first memory of real harm.

That realization changed everything. It forced me to take responsibility for what I would do next, now that I understood what shaped me.

The Life No One Expected

Not long after, I almost didn’t graduate on time. But I did, becoming IU's first woman Marine Bio graduate and my department’s commencement speaker. Around the same time, I started my business in my dorm room, grew it to six figures a year, moved to Southern California, and created a social enterprise. Through my YouTube advertising agency, I helped thousands of people feel seen and share work meant to serve others.

From the outside, it looked like success. But even then, I still wasn't fully sharing my story. Now is the time, and this book is that story. Not just how I survived, but how we all rise together.